As a brief distraction from the tariffs and tumult, let me talk about wedding planning. This year will be the year I marry my wonderful fiancée, Mariah. Since I tend to write about things I experience, I figured discussing wedding planning would be fair. Everyone who has ever gotten married knows that weddings are incredible, but wedding planning adds a lot of complexity. Weddings are extremely expensive, involved, and carry the weight of immense expectations.
Expensive
Weddings aren’t just expensive, they’re shockingly expensive. This is especially true if you run the prices you’re looking to pay by family and friends who may have gotten married more than a decade ago. Inflation has hit this industry similarly to healthcare or education inflation. Some blame it on the pandemic and others on generational waves. Either way, it’s tough to say “Yes!” to the $7,500 venue. Yet, crazily, that seems to be average for our area.
I would tell you to plan ahead – start doing your shopping well before your wedding for these items, just so that you can find out what everything costs. Doing so will help reduce the sticker shock when you do find the place or the vendors you want. An early look may also help you lock down pricing before the typical annual increase. A venue might cost less in 2025 than 2026. We have been “gingerly” planning our wedding for about a year and we have about nine months left before the big day, but doing it over time allowed us to budget and prepare for it. We also got our pick of the vendors and services we need.
Involved
That brings me to the next point. Wedding planning is involved. It’s not just a day. It’s an industry now. Between the vendors, the venues, the wedding planning sites, and the products there are so many businesses built on the back of the big days of so many people.
Make sure to bring your nerdy proficiencies to the table. How do you plan? Build that. A spreadsheet with links to all of your vendors, contracts, and cost estimates will be helpful to you down the road. Even a checklist of must-haves is great, if that’s more your speed. Anything you can do to reduce the complexity required to manage everything and keep your sanity ahead of your big day is paramount.
A side note, wedding planning sites will have recommended timelines for when you should be doing everything. These are helpful, but can also add to your overwhelm with a lot of items you don’t care about. Download one and then delete everything you don’t feel you need to see. Help maintain your sense of balance toward what you care about and eliminate what you could let go of.
Expectations
Even in the relatively straightforward cultural experience I’ve had, we both still experienced multiple moments where others’ expectations clashed with our own. I will admit that it may have been exacerbated by us choosing a small wedding format and location. That said, my experience is that you cannot make everyone happy with your wedding planning. You may as well just focus on the happiness that you can give to each other.
In order to make sure that you can fulfill yours and your partner’s expectations, I think a lot of communication is necessary. I have long advocated for couples to have money meetings throughout their relationship. I think during wedding planning, you should also have meetings to measure how the expensive, involved party you’re planning is holding up to your wishes.
Finally, if you’re planning your wedding soon, good luck! We have both enjoyed and lamented the process in our home. I hope that you and your partner have a long, happy life together and a beautiful wedding.